Pregnancy and Birthing Stories Series Part 4

Yá'át'ééh! In today's episode, co-hosts DeeDee James and Lexa Ingram will talk to a special guest, Koltey Tso. Koltey is a Diné woman, mother, wife, and student. She will share her pregnancy journey battling infertility and polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and talk about her birthing experience with her miracle baby. 

We appreciate Koltey's courage to share her sacred journey with us. This series aims to provide a safe space for birthing families to share their experiences to help other birthing families become informed about how pregnancy and birthing can happen. 

Disclaimer: We would like to let our audience know that these birthing stories include real people with real stories and may include topics on traumatic pregnancy and birthing experiences leading to loss of life, miscarriage, depression, suicide, and grief. If you are listening, please take breaks as needed. If these topics are too much for you to handle, please join us for our next episode and take care of yourself in the meantime.

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Facebook: @Navajo Maternal and Child Health Project at Diné College

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Please email us if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions: navajomchproject@dinecollege.edu

This podcast was sponsored by the Arizona Department of Health Services through federal funding from the Health Resources & Services Administration, with support from the Navajo Native American Research Centers for Health (NARCH) Partnership between Diné College and Northern Arizona University through federal funding from the National Institute of Health’s National Institute of General Medical Sciences, award number S06GM142121. The views expressed are the sole responsibility of the program staff and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Arizona Department of Health Services or the United States Government.

Transcript

Introduction Ya'at'eeh. Welcome to the MCH podcast where we discuss maternal and child health topics and provide strategies for improving the health of Navajo families. Amá dóó áłchíní ats’íís baa áháyá baa yadelti (Translation: We will be talking about the health of mothers and children). 

DeeDee James Ya’at’eeh. I am your co-host DeeDee James. Todich’ii’nii nishłį, Kinyaa’aa’nii bashichiin and  Kinłich’ii’nii  dashichei and Ta’neeszahnii dashinali. Ákót’éego diné asdzáán nishłį́. Tse’dijoli dęęnashaa. Kinłanídi kééhasht’į́. I’m originally from Promise Rock, AZ, a small area South of Monument Valley, UT, but I currently live in Flagstaff where work at Northern Arizona University as a research coordinator of the Navajo Maternal and Child Health Project. 

 Alexandra Ingram Hello, my name is Alexandra Ingram, but I prefer to go by Lexa. I am born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. However, I've been residing in Flagstaff, Arizona for the past three years to attend Northern Arizona University, where I just graduated this May with a Bachelor's of Science in Health Sciences, Public Health, and minors in Biology and Psychology. I look forward to expanding my knowledge on the maternal and children's health topics, as well as sharing my research knowledge alongside community members and our health educators on our podcast. This episode is a continuation of a new series about pregnancy and birthing experiences. The purpose of these episodes are to provide a space for birthing families to share their stories, in the hopes that will help other birthing families to be informed about the ways that pregnancy and birthing occurs. Before we begin, we'd like to let our audience know that these birthing stories include real people with birth stories. It may include topics on traumatic pregnancy and birthing experiences leading to loss of life, miscarriage, depression, suicide, and grief. If you're listening, please take breaks as needed. If these topics are too much for you to handle, please join us again for our next episode and take care of yourself in the meantime. Today we are joined by Koltey Tso. Koltey, can you please introduce yourself? 

 Koltey Tso Yes I can. Ya’at’eeh shik'éí  dóó shidine'é. Kinłich’ii’nii nishłį, Todich’ii’nii bashichiin and  Táchii'nii dashichei and Nát'oh dine'é  Táchii'nii dashinali. K'aabiizhii Nasdlahdęęh naashá. Aadóó  Lawrence, Kansasdi kééwesht’į́. T'áá łá'í sha'áłchíní k'aad shihóló. wolyé.   My name is Koltey Tso.  I am of the Red House clan. Born for the Bitter Water. My maternal grandfather is Red running into water and my paternal grandfather is red running into water, mountain tobacco people. I'm originally from Cove, Arizona, but, I was living in Kayenta before I moved to Lawrence, Kansas with my family, my husband and my daughter. She is our first baby. Her name is a little Aboriginal Tso-Poorman. So is her last name hyphenated. She just has the longest last name. So cute. And I am attending Haskell Indian Nations University. I'm working towards my American Indian Studies degree. 

DeeDee James  Awesome. Thank you for that introduction. And thank you for also taking the time out of your day to share your story with us. So now we're going to move forward, and I'm going to ask you to share your pregnancy story with us. 

Koltey Tso  I can start from the beginning. Well, I didn't know I was pregnant at first because my husband and I, my daughter literally is a miracle baby because we have been trying for so many years and all those years of testing, taking different medications and seeing different doctors. I went to Alaska for a bit to help with fertility treatments that were offered at, Alaska Native Hospital. They were going to assist me because I tried to get help with IHS at home in Arizona, but they were not very helpful to me, and they wouldn't explain to me what was going on with my body. But I have PCOS. And so that was really challenging because I had basically had to self-diagnose. And that was when, the doctor was like, oh yeah, that could possibly be one of the barriers of you getting pregnant. So let's try to work on that. And it never went forward from there because I had waited months to see, the women's health clinic, at home in Arizona. So I got fed up and my sister was like, why didn't she just come the Alaska. So I went to Alaska with her and I started receiving treatment up there. It was amazing. And like nothing happened still. I was like five years of treatments and trying to get help, trying to de-stress, trying to, you know, make a family happen. But it just was not happening. So it really had a huge, huge toll on my mental health and my how I valued myself as a woman. And, you know, it was really hard. And I just threw my hands up in there and I was like, this is not going to happen. So I was like, I'm going to go back to school and I'm going to transfer away from home, and I'm going to go to school in Lawrence, Kansas. And my family was "Like, what? Why would you go out there? You don't know anyone. You're going to be by yourself and you have a husband here." And I was just like, you know, I, did this for this many years and I'm burnt out. I'm tired. I'm going to I'm going to do what I need to do. So, I came out to Lawrence for one semester. I did amazing things while I was here, I did acupuncture, I did daily, not daily. Monthly, massages, full body massages and just really decompressed. And I was able to talk with the counselor. I restarted my grief counseling, so that really helped. And then I went home, and it was, at the end of the semester, I went home, and, you know, I hung out, with my family and my husband and I took my little sister back here to Lawrence with me for the summer session. And we were doing really good when we came back, like we were just having fun. We're planning out our our summer fun. Like there was going to be pride happening, there were street fairs,  there were pool halls to be played in. And maybe about a month into summer school, which is July, because I started getting sick in June and I literally, literally thought I  was going to die because I could not keep anything down. I was throwing up. I was so sick. I like had headaches that just would not go away. I thought it was my, caffeine, like I was having caffeine withdrawal, but that wasn't it. And I couldn't keep anything down and everything smelled. Our dorm room was just the worst, and it was just so humid everywhere. And I was just. Like, what is going on with me? And I was like, someone's probably gushing me, oh my God, it was awful. And I was like, maybe we need to go home and get something done. My little sister was like "okay, yeah". And so we just shoved a bunch of tote boxes. In my little car and we drove home 18 hours. Like, we just drove straight. But we stopped bin the mountains of Chama. We slept in my car, and then we went home and I thought it was a kidney infection I had, because that's what I was told in Lawrence and they gave me medicine for it. So, oddly, this is not getting better because I took all the medicine. I should have been getting better, but I wasn't. So I went to IHS in Kayenta and they were like, okay, if your kidney infection is not getting better, let's do this panel of testing. So they did like blood testing. They put me in an MRI machine. They took a look at my insides and they're like, you're okay. But there is like an excess of like a water in your pelvis area. Is there a chance you're pregnant? And I was really, like sick and angry and like, no, there's no chance. And I was sick of people asking me, like, is there a chance you're pregnant? Every time I went into a doctor's appointment? Because it just really hurt. And it sucked when, like, those pregnancy tests came back negative and they tell me, oh, yeah, you're not pregnant. And it's like, I know I'm not pregnant. Just, you know, just leave that alone because it's so sensitive and it's so hurtful. And people are like, yeah, you're not pregnant, you know? And it just it really sucked. So I was like, I was really in denial was like, yeah, I'm not pregnant. So they're like, okay, we'll do a second round of testing on you. But we don't see anything wrong with you. We don't. You know, we think your kidney infection cleared up. It's probably just a virus you have. So I was like, okay. So it left home. The entire way. We were pounding Red Bulls to stay awake. I was traveling back and forth 18 hours, driving to and from. And when we're there at home, you, my little sister, we help planted a corn cornfield, and I was out in the heat. I was carrying things. I was lifting a helping lift like this divot of oil. And. And then I came back to Lawrence, and I was just like, I'm not getting better. Please help me. What's going on? And my doctor was like, is there a chance you're pregnant? I was like, no. And she was like, are you sexually active? And I was like, yeah, I am. And she was like, okay. So we're going to your testing. And I was she was like kind of birth control or usually I was like PCOS. I was angry and she just looked at me and I was like, well, you know, nothing's happening all these years. So I was really angry at that appointment and  she came back and Like, she was just fed up with me. She was like, by the way, you're pregnant. And she said she just, like, hushed and sat down in her chair and and she's kind of like, you know, when you throw a blanket on someone, it's a surprise. And you felt like that. And I was like, what did she say? And she was like, you're pregnant. And I was like, are you sure? Are you sure? You know, she was like, yeah. She's like, why? And I was like, are you sure I'm pregnant? And it was. Like, oh my God. And I was like, are you serious? I'm pregnant. I started crying. And she was like, are you okay? And I was like. Yeah, okay. I was like, are you sure? Are you sure? Because I'm bleeding. And she was like, she was like, are you sure? She was like, are you okay? And I was like, yes, I'm okay. And she was like, is this something you wanted? Or is this something you need to, you need some assistance with? Because I believe Kansas has the no abortion law. And I was like, no, it was like, this is something I really want. And I tried for so many years. And she's like, oh my God, congratulations, can I hug you? And I was like, yeah. I was like, my sisters aren't here to hug me. And then I kind of stepped out of I was like, wait, how am I pregnant if I'm bleeding? And I thought I had, you know, my, my monthly. And she was like, wait, you're bleeding. And I was like, yeah. And she's like, what kind of bleeding are you bleeding? And I was like, it's she's like, is it dark? And is it like a dark brown? I was or is it a bright red? And I was like, it's a bright red. And she's like, okay, as soon as we're done here, I need you immediately to go to the E.R.. And I was like, okay. And she was like, I'm gonna set up. I'm gonna see if I can set you up an appointment, because you could be having a miscarriage. And I was just like, my world fell apart. I was like, I just got my baby. You just said, you know what? I was pregnant, and now I'm going to lose her. I was like, when? And I sat in my car for a bit and I didn't know what to do. I was just like, I'm far away from home, you know? I mean, my little sister's here, but, my husband was back at home and I was like, what do I do? Who do I tell? And I was just like, If I'm going to lose my baby, I was like, I'm going... My husband has to go through this with me. So I called him and No I texted him and I was like, calmly, I don't care what you're doing. Stop what you're doing right now and call me. And he called me and he was like, what is it? And I was like, I'm pregnant. And he was like. What? How? And I was like, what do you mean how? And which is the worst reaction? And I was like, oh, gosh. And I was like, but this is happening. I'm bleeding. So the hospital told me that they want me to go to the E.R., but my doctor ran out after me and she was like, I'm going to set you up an appointment with University of Kansas Medical Center, and they're going to do an ultrasound on you to see if it's a vital pregnancy or not. And I was like, okay. And so I had maybe about 30 minutes to get to where I needed to go. So second person I told was my little sister when I got to the library where she was studying, and I told her I was like pregnant. And she was like, oh my God. She was just so happy. And I was just like. I wanted to join her in happiness and, you know, be excited and jump around and, you know, like touch my belly and really connect. I really wanted that. But I knew I had to protect my heart because if I had just, you know, miscarried my baby, it would have shattered me. Because, you know, that opportunity was given to me and then it was taken away. So I just tell my little sister I was just like, let's just wait, let's just wait. Hold on. Let's go get me checked out first, and then then we can celebrate. And she's like, oh, okay, okay, it's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. So I say, okay. So I was walking around the campus trying to stay calm, listening to Ray Charles "Georgia on my mind", you know, just trying to not stress out. Then time for my ultrasound came and we went to KU Medical Center and, they did an ultrasound on me, and my little baby was in there and her heart was strong and she was wiggling around and like, she does this thing with her hand when she's scared or like when she's nervous, like, I'm going to show you this cute little thing. Like she goes like this. Like her little arm goes like it shakes like that. And I saw her do that and in my belly. And I think she was scared because she hadn't felt anyone push on her yet. Like anyone touch my belly or she, you know she was just hanging out in there and I was so excited. I just started crying. We were both crying and we're just so excited. And they're like, yeah, she's she's got a really strong heartbeat. She's fine, you know? And they're like, we're just going to keep monitoring you until this bleeding stops. We don't know what it is yet. So we were okay. Then they, gave me medicine to help stop the bleeding. They said that she was ten weeks, and so they were like, she's a really good size. Did you know that you're pregnant? I was like, I didn't even know. I thought I was just dying. It was something else. And they were just laughing and they're like, oh yeah. And I was just like, it was so happy. And we got my ultrasound pictures and we were just laying in our dorm room beds. And I was like, who should we call first? We called one of my sisters. And I was like, we have a surprise. And they're like, what? Did you get a tattoo or whatever? And I'm like, no. And then I pulled out the ultrasound and they're like, oh my God. They're like, wait, whose is it? No, because they didn't want to be mean. They were being sensitive. Like who? Who is pregnant and their health. I was like, it's mine. And they're like Oh my God ? What? Holy Cow. And I was like, yeah. It was just like they were so excited for me. And like, we were freaking out all over again. We were just so happy. And, the hospital immediately started and me on prenatal care. So I had, more blood testing to do and, ultrasounds to go to throughout my pregnancy. I had, I don't even know how many, like probably more than ten ultrasounds that I had to go to throughout my pregnancy, but I had to immediately start taking my prenatal vitamins, and I still kept going to my massage just because they kept my stress low. Because I was in school and when I came home at the end of the semester for the summer, I was like, I'm not going to go back to Lawrence. I'm going to stay home. My family was like, yeah, that's probably best because you don't have anyone out there with you. And Luke's at work here. Lucas is my husband. He's here and I was like, yeah. And then I started going through the emotions and I was just like, yeah, no way. I'm not. I'm not staying home. But I was like, I'm going to go back to school. This is silly. And everyone was like, upset with me. They're like, you're pregnant. You're you know, you're already high risk. And why would you do that to yourself? And you're just going to be by yourself and you're going to be sad. And I was like, I will be fine. And then me and my husband talked it over and he moved out here with me around October, which is really nice. And he started coming to me with appointments. Lawrence Memorial Hospital is where, my care was. And they give you this option, you can have a midwife or you can have an OBGyn. So of course, I went the OBGyn route when I was back at home, these are the questions my sisters asked me. They're like, what are you going to do? What do you need? I was like, I want to try a home birth. And one of my sisters, she was really against it. She was like, that's stupid. She was like, you know, there's so many complications that could happen in, you know, babies dies, you know, like, why would you not take advantage of Western medicine? So it's just like, all right, you know, so I just kind of felt like down about that. But I was just like, okay. And I went with the midwife, because Haskell Indian Nations University has a little IHS right next to it, but they don't have the capacity for women's health. So they transfer them over to the big hospital. And that's where I went. And I had a midwife, and she would meet with me about what they would see on my scans. And my baby was growing so great. I guess, like every time I was just so happy to see her. I was so happy to hear her little heartbeat. It was just strong. I was just so happy and I kept all my prenatal vitamins. I had to have special specialists help me. So I got referred out from Lawrence Memorial to the University of Kansas Hospital, which was just on the borderline between Kansas and Missouri. They had to monitor my cervix because my cervix was tunneling, and that's one of the conditions. I don't know if Navajo Nation keeps an eye on that or doesn't, but I was really grateful I had health care here because I had gotten Covid while I was pregnant. And I told my care provider in Tuba city, but she did she say, okay, just, you know, if you feel anything or if you start bleeding, just come in. So when it came back to Lawrence, they were like, oh my God, you had Covid. We need you immediately to come in and we're going to test you. We're going to make sure everything's okay. And they were like, we need to start you on aspirin, because now you are officially high risk pregnancy because you could have blood clots in your baby's placenta, the umbilical cord, you're at risk for stillbirth or miscarriage, and you're also at risk for preeclampsia. And so they were like, just don't stress about it though. And I was like, yeah, that's easy not to stress about. Yeah. And that with the tumbling thing there was the risk of there was a chance of me having to get my cervix sewed shut because my daughter was only 35 weeks, and I think it's 35 weeks in, below. At some point, they start worrying about you. They're like, if it happens, it happens. So they were. Like, we might need to if you give birth or if you go into labor early, we're going to have to put her in the neonatal unit and she'll have to be monitored from there because her lungs aren't developed yet. And I was like, okay, that's scary. Okay. A week or two before, they were like, we're going to have to give you a steroid shot to help, you know, her lungs, like when they give you a steroid shot, it makes something, develop faster, which was her lungs, which were. They were scared that wasn't going to develop in time. But I made it through almost to the end of my pregnancy, because in January, when I started to go into labor, I didn't know I was going into labor. I just felt like the Braxton Hicks going on and I was just like,  maybe I'm going to give birth today, maybe I am going to give birth today and you're like, no, you're not. You're fine. I was already dilating maybe three weeks before I give birth to my daughter, and they're like, yeah, you're dilating now, so we're just going to keep an eye on it and keep an eye on it. That's all they kept saying to me, but they're like, yes, you're dilating. My husband was really wonderful through all of this. Like he just did such a phenomenal job. He would keep an eye on me. Keep me fed, Keep me watered. And he would massage my feet at night, even massage my back. When he moved out here, he brought me this pregnancy pillow that my best friend, Tiffany, gave me. And that thing was a lifesaver. And we just watched me waddle around. I like, I seriously, I loved my pregnancy so much. I loved my belly. I would take pictures of my belly and it was just so much fun. And to watch her move around in my tummy, like I would stop doing my homework and I would just look at my time. You watch her little movements. Yeah, my my placenta was on the front side of me, so I couldn't see that much movement. But when she would kick to a kick hard. Or she would elbow me for a little roller derby going on in there. And she loved music, like The Sound of Music. I would like blast, rock music, like, Audioslave and Metallica and all of those good bands. And I would play Selena and I would dance around in the kitchen, and I could feel her wiggling in my tummy, and I loved it so much. And then in the evening. I went into labor my husband, we drove out to Kansas City to go to a store we wanted to see. It's called Duluth Trading Post, and we were just walking around in there. And then, my husband had this, like feeling a few days before. He was like, I think I need to put our stuff in. So he was like, he would put in our hospital bag. And he put in her car seat, which we had bought a few weeks before because I had bad anxiety throughout my pregnancy about the car seat was like, we need to get her car seat, we need to get her car seat. So I was looking through reviews of car seats, and I settled with this really cute pink and gray car seat, and we bought that one. I was like, okay, I can breathe. That will be fine. And so. He put our stuff in and we bought only one outfit for her coming home because my family is semi traditional and I was told, you know, by every masani and my family, they're like, don't buy anything, don't buy anything because you know, you don't know what's going to happen. And you know, when those things are left with you. That's why we tell you don't buy anything. So I was like, okay, so I didn't buy anything. It was really hard. Because I found that I was seeing all of these cute little girls stuff, and. It was. Just a wonderful. And we had a gender reveal party for her, which is really nice. We went home in November for Thanksgiving, and we had a little party for her, and we had a Harry Potter themed gender reveal and you girls are invited. So it was wonderful, beautiful. And oh, back to that night. I went into labor, so we came back from Target. I was laying down and my legs went. I would put them together. It was so painful. So I had this yoga ball that I would bounce on to help me with my  round ligament pain. And I put that between my legs for a good maybe 20 minutes. And then I rolled over and then I felt like my baby. She shifted. Or she rolled into position and I was like, whoa, what is that? And then I was like, okay, I gotta pee. Because, like, when you're pregnant, you have to hydrate. You have to hydrate, you have to hydrate. And that means going to the restroom a lot. So I rolled over and I was struggling to get up, and I was on all fours and I felt like water came out and I was like, oh gosh, I peed on myself. I was touching. And then, I, I'm really into TikTok. And this is how I knew my water broke. The ladies on TikTok were like, if you don't know, your water broke, you're like, go to the restroom, go pee, wipe yourself, and then walk around without your underwear. And if you're leaking, your water broke. And so I was like. I'm gonna go do that. So I waddled to the restroom. I did that, and and then I could still feel the water coming down and I was like, oh my gosh. And my husband was in the was in the living room. And I was like, honey. And he didn't hear me. And I was like, honey. And and he was like, what? Then I was like, my water broke and he was like, what? Where? And he was like, you're frantically from the living room to the restroom trying to look for a puddle. And I was like, in the restroom, what? I need to clean it. I think we need to get ready. And my sister, so he's asking, they're like, how did you react? And then he was like, I was cool, I was cool. I didn't panic, I was like, yes, you did. You were panicking. You're like, oh my God, oh my God, what do I do honey? What's the thing like oh my God. He was like, oh what? Who did we go? Should we go, who should we go? What do we need? What do we need? And I was like, honey, I think it's going to be okay for a little while. You know, it's just rocking back and forth. And I was like, I think we're going to be okay. Our stuff is already in the chidii. Help me get my shoes on. Because at that point I could not tie my own shoes. I had a hard time putting them on. So I had these slippers. I put those on with my socks and I'm absolutely against doing that. But I did it. Yeah. And I had on my nightgown. And I put on my jacket. And then everyone said it made me look like a prairie dog. So they put that one on and I, my husband helped me get into the truck like he had to lift me up, put me in because this truck is lifted. So that was really easy. And then. On our way into town, my contractions started to hit and my mom did not lie to me when she said, those things hurt. And she was like, it's like someone's knuckle digging into your cervix. And that's exactly what it felt like. They. I told my husband maybe a few hours before I was like, honey, I think we need to, I need you to download this app that counts my contractions. And he was like, okay, so he downloaded that and I was like, honey, this is a contraction. He's like, okay. So he started pressing on that, app and it counts how long your contractions last and how far apart they are. So he was on that, I'm so proud of him. And then we got into town, I was like, honey, this sounds ridiculous, but I want it. I was like, "Can we go to McDonald's? I want an apple pie and I want iced tea." And I was like, you're gonna have to let me have anything to eat, so I might as well. And he was like, okay. So I was having contractions in the in the waiting line, and I was like recording at the same time. Myself and my husband, you know. Like, and we're on our way to the hospital. Where we're getting me, you know McDonald's. And I was. Listening to this podcast yesterday and one of the ladies for lactation was like, that's the importance of eating healthy before, your birth, like traditional foods because your baby taste is what is in your milk. And I was laughing. I was like, well, I guess my baby was drinking apple pies and iced tea as her first meal. And it was just it was silly. And then, I went in, I stood at the ER door and my husband dropped me off right at the door because I had no ability to go any further. And I was contracting again. And my husband came in and the security kept looking at me weird, because I was just standing there breathing really hard. And my husband is like, my wife's in labor. And they're like oh, okay is she already, you know, set up here. And he was like, yeah, she has her birth plan. Oh, that was one of the things my midwife talked to me about was like a birth plan. What did I want to do? What did I want? You know, I just said I didn't want pitocin. You know, I didn't. I wasn't sure about an epidural. I wanted my has been there. I wanted my sister there. There was this thing on the internet with a paper you fill out of your birth plan, and he had that here he would  have three of them in case they try to throw out when we're going to have these extra ones. So. And they took me in. And they're like, how far are your contractions apart? My husband was telling him they're like, oh, you have those again. And then they're like, all right. They took me out to the unit and they were like, we need to swab you to see if you're in labor or not. And so they swabbed me and they're like, yeah, you're in labor. You're we're water broke. So we're going to keep you here. So they started setting me up. They were like, do you want an epidural? And I was like, no, I think. I'm going to be. Okay. I want to try it naturally. And they're like, are you sure? And that kind of put like doubt in myself. And I kind of wish my, nursing team was just more supportive of me not having an epidural because my sisters went without an epidural and their births were pretty fast. Well, one of them was. And they were. Like, because if you want an epidural, you need to tell us now. Because we need to start you 30 minutes with fluids before we gave you the epidural, and it's going to take some time. For the anesthesiologist to get here from home. So if you tell us now, by the time your contractions really start hitting, you'll be pain free. And I was like, okay. I was like, you know, I was like, no, I'll be okay, I'll be okay. And then my contractions started hitting. I was like, okay, yeah, give me an epidural. And my husband is like, are you sure, honey? I was like, yeah. And he was like, okay. Cause I was already, you know, about 4 or 5cm dilated already. And they were like, yeah, you can this you can still get your epidural done. So they put me on I.V. and my husband was like, so sleepy, like honey take a nap, you know, whatever. And my contractions started hitting, I was like, "Honey  get up!" And he was like, what? It was like, massage my head and like, massage my pelvis, you know, like, don't leave me in. He was like, I'm not leaving you. I'm right here. And I was like, I mean, it was just kind of like like grunting sounds like whenever they would hit. And I was just like, there was like this fire in my, what do you call it , not uterus, fallopian tube area. It felt like someone was, like gutting me. It was like, on fire. And I was just like, this pain is like, Holy cow. I feel like something's going to burst. And I was like, "Honey, give me your comb." That was almost like one of the things I saw on TikTok was having a hair comb you can put in your palm and kind of squeeze it so the pain is diverted from your pelvis area to your hand. So I was doing that to help me get through before the anesthesiologist got there. And I was really lucky because the person who did my epidural was the head of anesthesiology, and he was like, okay, we're going to start this now. They sterilized me back and he was like, "you cannot move when I put this in. Even if you're contracting, you cannot move. And they're like it's going to sting a little bit because of the local anesthetic." And I was like, okay. And I didn't feel Jack, you know, like I didn't feel anything. I didn't feel the numbing agent they put in. I was I was in so much pain. It was just like, get it in there. And they were like, okay, we're starting now. And my husband was holding my hand and he was just, you know, being really supportive and honey, you're doing such a wonderful job. You're doing so good their almost done baby, you know, he would just talk to me, be really gentle with me. And they put in my epidural and I took a nap. But that fire again started. So they rolled me from one side to the other. They had that peanut ball for me between my legs to help me dilate faster. And the nurses were like, if you don't start dilating by the morning, we're going to give you pitocin. And I didn't want pitocin because I had read that it puts pressure on the baby's skull and into their jaws because of all of that unnatural contracting that happens. And so it's just like, can we just can we hold off on it until, you know, let me see if I can I can move around or like you can you have an epidural? And I was just like, okay. So, luckily I dilated to ten and oh, before that, that pain in my uterus area that stopped, but my my thigh started going on fire, started feeling like it was on fire. And I was like, oh my God. I was like, Honey, stop doing what you're doing? Because he was like, he was like petting my hair. And he was like talking to me, you. Know, like massage my thigh. And he was trying to massage my thigh. And then they were like. All right, you're at ten centimeters. It's time to go. And this is like around 9:00 in the morning. And they were like, all right, we're ready to roll. We're going to need you to start pushing, okay. And it wasn't my midwife  who did my care for me. It was a different lady. And it was a bunch of these other nurses that I didn't know. And I kind of felt weird about. And they were coming in and out and they were like, okay, we're going to put your legs in these stirrups. And that's what I didn't want to happen. That's what I didn't want. I wanted to squat and I wanted to, you know, use gravity to pull my baby down and out. But it was really hard in there. Like when you start contracting, we want you to push. Okay? And they were like, I know you feel like you're not doing anything, but we need you to feel like, you know, like you're going to go poop. And I was like, yeah, okay, I can do that. And so they started counting for me and this is maybe about 30 minutes in and they're like, this could take up to five hours. And there were like, so pace yourself. And I was like. What the, I was like, what the hell? Like, who has time for that? And. I was getting this done. And so I started pushing hard and I got my baby out. And, before that happened, when she was crowning, they were asking my husband, they're like, do you want to see her? And my husband looked into her. Oh my God, honey. She's right there. She's right there. And then they were like, do you want to touch her? They asked me, so I put my hands down there and I felt her hair, like I felt her head. And I was like, oh my God. So I got really excited and I was really determined. So I pushed her out. And then they put her on my belly and I was like, oh my God. I looked at her and then she kind of. She lifted her head a little bit and she looked at me, you know, like, oh my God. She has her dad's eyes. I was just in shock. And then my husband, he started crying. I heard him start crying and I was like, oh my God. And then I started crying and I was just so happy. I couldn't believe it. I was just overwhelmed. And she started crying. And I felt bad because she was crying, because she was cold and she was out in the world. And I just told her I was just like, oh, she is here. And I was just loving her. And then there's this like song my grandma used to sing to us as babies, you know, wrapped in the cradle. And she would say. La la la la la la. She would sing that. And I started. Saying that to my daughter, kind of like moving her up and down on my chest. And she stopped crying, and she was just looking at me, moving her little hands. And I was just so happy. And my husband was crying and he was like, oh my gosh. And they were like, do you want to? Do you want to cut the cord? And he was. Like, yeah. And you cut the cord. And he was just we were just like. And and we had that one hour, that golden hour, skin to skin, me and my daughter. And it was just beautiful. And she weighed 7 pounds, nine ounces. And she was healthy. All ten toes. All ten fingers. She passed her hearing tests, which I was worried about because in one ear, I'm, I'm partially deaf. So I was really happy. And the challenging part came with, breastfeeding. That was hard. My friend told me ahead of time, she's like, are you going to do formula or are you going to do breastfeeding? And I was like, I'm going to do breastfeeding. Breast is best and she was like, okay, like good luck woman. She's like, it's hard. She was like, it hurts. And I was like, why? And she was like. You know, your your nipples are going to crack and they're going to bleed and it's going to be so sore. And that was true. Like I had the hardest time. My milk was coming in slow. So we had to use, donated breast milk because I didn't want my baby to starve. And they were like, do you have an option between formula and breast milk? And they give you this paper and it's like breast milk is best because it helps your baby grow immediately. And it's not hard on their tummy. But if you use formula, it changes the lining of the baby's stomach. This is what I read on that paper, and I was just like, I don't want that to happen. So we gave her donated breast milk from the hospital, and she ate that first time. And my colostrum finally started coming out and it was slow and it was hard to breastfeed her. But I, I tried all of that day and all of that night, I just kept her on me. I would not let my nurses take her if they needed to do something. They did it in the room with her, or my husband would follow them around because he was just playing using daddy mode, you know? He was just so happy. And when I needed to sleep, he was holding her and watching TV. And he did so good because, like, she was like a professional like the end of our stay at the hospital because he was swaddling her like a Pro. And he was changing her diapers, and he was just he was so happy to have her. I was lucky because I had lactation counseling afterwards. I had free four visits, four free visits afterwards, to lactation to help. We bought, formula after our stay at the hospital because my milk was still not producing enough. So we were trying everything I saw on TikTok, you know, like the oatmeal smoothies. And trying everything to get my milk going using the mother's milk tea. I was drinking as much as I could, and it just wasn't happening. So we use formula for about a month and a half maybe, but I'm still supplementing with breastfeeding as well. But we were heavily dependent on the formula and there was a formula shortage out here. So my husband was going to all of these different walmarts within the vicinity of Lawrence to like Kansas City, and we're lucky if we could find two packs. So that was challenging in itself. And we were battling jaundice. Jaundice is awful and they kept having to test her for lab testing. We kept going like day after day for about a week, because she was just on the border of having to go under that, underneath that light that helps us break up the jaundice in the body. She wasn't there yet, but she was just below and like, if you could give her something to help her poop it out of her system, that would be great. So we just went full formula. That was what helped break up her jaundice, and we didn't have to take her into the hospital. So we're really happy. But that was really hard because we had to watch her get her little heel pricked. My husband was like, I don't like it. And I was like, I don't like you either. We got it done from there. They they did the postpartum care our first week home. That was a really big challenge. Like I cried uncontrollably, like my hormones were all over the place. I couldn't get Ahold of myself. Like I just kept crying. I felt like I was doing everything wrong. My milk supply was slow, so I felt like I was starving my baby. But she had she had formula, but I felt like I wasn't doing enough for her. I was so tired. And my husband was tired and I was scared for him to leave. And I was just like, I wish you had paternity leave. That would make this so much easier. And I didn't know the importance of having paternity leave because, like, my husband was my biggest support, because I'm away from home, I didn't have my sisters to lean on. I didn't have my mom to lean on or my dad like my sisters did. My dad is a really big help when it comes to newborn babies, because he'll just wake up in the middle of the night, no problem, and he'll hold the baby and put him to sleep. I didn't have that. And so it was really hard. And I broke down crying because I just loved her so much. And I kept breaking down like that. And then one night my husband was holding baby and she looked right at him and she smiled at him. And I have never seen a grown man cry this hard. He just like he lost it. He was crying, he couldn't stop. And he was just like he called his mom and he was like, I love her so much, mom. Like, this is my baby. You know? Her love is centered around just me. And I think that was something beautiful to witness and watch and hear it. And she's daddy's girl big time. Its so cute. But just that first week was really hard. My husband stayed home. He didn't get paid for that week, so that was really hard. But my family rallied behind me and they sent money for like an extra car seat, clothes, whatever food I needed in l extra nipple cream because, like how painful it was to breastfeed. And breastfeeding didn't get better until maybe a month ago, because she's four months now and we're able to sleep through the night before. During her newborn stage, I had to wake up every 2 to 3 hours to feed her, and that was that was hard because I lost a lot of sleep and I was so tired . The thing I had to be aware of was postpartum psychosis, and me and my husband had that hard conversation of like, honey, you know, this is a possibility. This does happen to women. And these are the signs to look out for. And my husband was like, okay, but you know, that's not going to happen to us because you're going to be strong. And, you know, we need you. And, you know, just that pep talk. It really kept me mentally strong. And I know it's not just your mentality that plays a role in psychosis. It's also the hormones in your body that are trying to level out. So my husband was really supportive of that, and he would just listen to me cry and hold me and tell me you're doing a good job. I called the Children's Lifeline thing a lot because I had so many questions. I was like, am I feeding her too much? Am I going to pop her stomach? And, you know, like, I was scared of those things and I didn't know who to ask because the Indian Health hospital, they don't have hours on the weekends. So I would call that lifeline and ask those questions and know like, no, you can't pop the baby's tummy, if any. If she overeat, she'll vomit it out. And, her breathing, it was different. Like she's a newborn. My baby's doctor told me later. She shift her like her breathing. Even if it sounds funny, she's okay as long as she's not turning blue and they're like newborns. They're a little lazy. She was like, so. They said they forget to breathe. But that sound you're hearing is reminding them to breathe in. That's making sure they're breathing. And she's like, other than that, your baby is healthy. She's she's good. Her breath sounds are wonderful. Her heart rate is great. It's phenomenal. So it was like, great, okay. And now it's in vaccination time. And my doctor was asking me, you know, what do you feel about vaccinations? You know, they were really honoring. People who are not into vaccinating their kids or like, it's totally fine if you don't want to give her these immunization shots. But I was like, you know, give them to her because they were given to me. And so I was just like, all right, so she's in really good hands with her providers over here and a really great support system with Haskell Indian Nations University. My auntie Carrie, she was amazing throughout my pregnancy. Like that first day I told you when I found out I was pregnant, I was freaking out and I told her I was like, Auntie, I'm pregnant. And she was like, oh! And I was like, I don't know what to do. And she was like, it's okay, it's okay. Just go take a nap. She was like, and it's so weird. They had this really awesome couch in the library and it has a buffalo hide on it. She's like, go take. It that go take a nap. Go wrap yourself in that. So I just I took a nap and she was great throughout the whole thing. And she transferred from Auntie Carrie to my son and Carrie, and she was just really awesome. But that was my birthing experience, and there were a lot of really big bumps from when she was conceived to when she was when I gave birth to her, because there were a couple of close calls in between. Like I ended up in the E.R with bleeding that I couldn't explain. And they were like the one thing they always say when I went into the E.R., it's like, you're going to lose your baby. You're going to lose your baby. So I would be freaking out. And I called my husband and he was working in Alamosa. So I was just like, honey, get back. I'm in the E.R. I need you here. So he stopped working and he drove all the way to Kansas to the E.R for me. And he just held my hand. And by then someone finally knew what's going on. And they did a small ultrasound and they saw that she was she was doing well. She was just hanging out in there a little bit, buried in the back. And one of the things they told me was, you can buy a Doppler, which is like an ultrasound thingy. You can hear the heartbeat, your baby's heartbeat. If you get, you can buy one of those for like $60. But that was really expensive to me. So I was like. Probably not. And my sisters were really encouraging, buying  a fire. To help push the muscles back together. But I got this belly binder from one of the maternal stores here in Lawrence, and that really helped. And I had some of the Freedom Mom products for postpartum care, and those things were just wonderful. I did face a little bit of hostility in my giving birth. I'm a American-indian studies major, so of all times to like start talking about my degree was when I was giving birth, I was really tired and I don't know if you get high from your epidural, but it was a pain medicines and guessing. And they were like, what are you gonna name your daughter? And I told them and they're. Like, oh, that's beautiful. I was like yeah. Tell them her name would be a lot like a partial permit. So and they're like, what does it mean? And I was like, beautiful miracle. And I was like, it's really important for my daughter to be proud of who she is. So we didn't go with like, American Christian name. We went with something that was generic and I was just like, she needs to know who she is. She needs to know where she comes from. This is important. And there's a lot of shame and stigma still attached to traditional names. So I was like, that's what I want for her. And I want her to be proud of who she is because her mom is proud of, you know, I'm proud of myself as a woman, and I wanted that from my daughter. And one of the ladies was like, really? I was like, because of the boarding school era, you know, our names were taken away. And, you know, we were given these Christian names. And there's a loss between the time of boarding schools to now. And one of the ladies was like, what was that? It was just like just that attitude she gave me. It just made me feel weird. And I was like, well, it was like it didn't stop until recently. And the midwife who was helping me kind of, you know, like, took hold of the situation and she was like, yeah, I seen that on the news. I seen that on the news. You know, like, they're finding children's bodies. And I was like, yeah. And that's why it was important for me to name my daughter this. And that was just kind of the hostility I faced giving birth. And then the nurse who was kind of hostile with me was also the nurse who helped with my postpartum care, and I could just see it on her face that she was annoyed. She would speak rudely to me and my husband. And. Just helping me as well. She was like, it was, I don't know, like I I'm grateful for nurses and for, the health care staff, but it just made me feel really uneasy. And I was in a place where I had just given birth, and I needed help getting from the restroom to my bed and from my bed to the restroom. And that just seemed like such a task for her, and she just seemed so annoyed. But that was really weird. But I was really grateful for all of my other nurses who were absolutely wonderful when she left. But so far everything went really well after all of that. 

DeeDee James  Koltey, that's such a beautiful story.  Hearing it now is such a beautiful reflection. And also a roller coaster of emotions, especially for you, your husband and your family. And I am just so happy to hear how much support you had, especially from your partner. He's been there for you since day one, dealing with PCOS and infertility and all that stuff, but also just having support from your sisters to, you know, having knowing them, I know how. Well, actually, you know, I've only met them a couple of times, but seeing how they are around you and how you guys interact, it's such a beautiful thing to have sisters with that kind of support and also that kind of mentality of like sharing their wisdom with you about pregnancy and then also just supporting you and your decision and going back to school and being pregnant away from your family. Like they also supported that too. I mean, I'm sure there was a little bit of, pushback. But, you know, ultimately they supported you in your decision and wanting to continue your school and also being pregnant out of state, thinking about where are you going to get your care and all that stuff, but it sounds like you handled it pretty well. And, you know, you stood your ground, which is really awesome. I really like how you mentioned that, you know, your daughter is going to be proud to be the next because you're proud to be a woman. And like, that's how it should be, supporting the cultural teachings, language and all that good stuff. And I really love her name. It is so beautiful and encompasses who she is and what she is for you and your family, which is a miracle baby and it's so beautiful. It's such a sacred journey for you and your family and your partner. So, I just love your story. It's awesome. So thank you. You know, taking the time I did today to really open up to us and be vulnerable. I know I can understand how hard that can be for some people, but, you know, you did it. And thank you for sharing your story. I'm sure it will help a lot of other women out there that may be struggling with PCOS or infertility. You know, this kind of gives them faith and like never giving up. And your story is so beautiful and I just love it so much. 

 Koltey Tso Oh thank you. Yeah. And one of the, one of the big reasons why I came back to Lawrence was, I grew up in Cove, drinking the water from wells up in the mountains, and that those wells were made by uranium miners, and there are tailings all over the mountain, and a lot of the mines are still open up there. So, I grew up drinking that water. My mom grew up drinking that water and eating that food. And that's why I came back to Lawrence. Was because of the water quality. I was really worried because I didn't want, you know, my family has a history of, birth defects. And I was really scared that would happen. So I was just like, I'm going to come back to Lawrence, where I know at least some of the water is safe, you know? And I didn't have the money to keep buying water from the store I only had, you know, what's provided from the sink is what I had. So, that was one of the big things that I came back for, to Lawrence was because I know that there, there, there's no risk of uranium contaminant  or radiation lurking about anywhere. 

 DeeDee James  Yes. The issue with uranium mining on the Navajo Nation is such a huge and concerning issue that we're still dealing with. And I'm really glad that, you know, you're aware of what the effects are with uranium and pregnancy. So taking the initiative and protecting you and your child from any uranium exposures is super important. The goal, I think, for the podcast, especially in our previous episodes where we did talk about uranium exposure in the Navajo birth cohort study with these mothers, realizing and learning about how uranium exposure and radon gas exposure can play detrimental role in your child's health, and also the mother's health as well. I'm so happy to hear that, because the uranium mining and environmental health is something that I'm also passionate about. To hear that you are being a mother now and throughout your pregnancy, you are aware of these environmental issues on Navajo Nation. Lexa, do you have any questions or comments? 

Alexandra Ingram Just thanks for coming on. I think that was a great story and sharing all the struggles you went through and just all that, happy moments as well. 

Koltey Tso  Yeah. Thank you guys for having me. And, you know, it was a great, wonderful journey and I wouldn't trade any of it. For the happiness now that I have my daughter in. I know. I want to keep people updated. You know, me getting pregnant, I was just like. I was just so excited. And of course, I posted it to my Instagram and my. Not my Facebook, just my Instagram. I kept that one updated. And I loved every minute of my pregnancy. And yeah, just, mental health services really helped throughout my pregnancy and afterwards. 

 DeeDee James Hey listeners, we appreciate your continued support. Please enter this code word miracle spelled m i r a c l e on our Facebook and Instagram pages. Comment the code word under the fire for this podcast episode to be entered into a raffle for a makeup bundle that consists of lashes and a contour palette from indigenous makeup brand Bloodline Beauty. We will be choosing one winner for the bundle of items.  For our audience, please take this time to breathe and step away and take a break and rejoin us as we have a brief discussion with Koltey to close out this episode. You know, Koltey, I know you're only been a mother for four months to your cute, adorable baby girl. But what advice do you have for new parents? 

Koltey Tso  Oh, gosh, I'm still in the beginning. I would say. Obviously, you know, ask your. Don't be afraid to ask questions when you go to the hospital. About the vaccines given to your child, about the vaccines that are going into your body. I had to ask if the Covid vaccines were safe for pregnant women. They didn't have that information on hand immediately, so they had to run around and find it. And they said yes, it was safe. And whatever vaccinations that would into my body would be part of my daughter as well. So just don't be afraid to ask questions about what kind of immunizations you need to give your child. Drink lots of water if you're breastfeeding. Eat as much as you need to. And for me, body imaging went away because I have a baby and I have to remind myself that I grew a little human being for nine months. And your body doesn't go back to what it looked like because it's shifting, because it's different, because you made a little human and you're feeding that little human from your body. So it's okay. That's true. Make sure you put your baby in your car seat. Get a really good breastfeeding pillow. I have one that my aunt gave me. My, Grandma Carey gave me this amazing pillow, baby. I can strap it to myself, and baby can lay across it and breastfeed. That's all I got to say is, like, get a really good breastfeeding pillow if you're going to breastfeed, if you're going to pump exclusively, take care of yourself. Use nipple cream because that is a savior. It's just it's a beautiful thing. Just take time, slow down. And take in the time with your baby because that newborn phase, it goes so fast and your baby just shoots up like a little weed in a cornfield. Like, it's just they grow so fast and I'm like, oh my gosh. And it record your baby, don't just take pictures. That's what I learned at the last minute. Recording is good because you can stop the frame and take a picture of that moment. But record, record, record, record. And daddies, don't be jerks to babies, mommies, because your wife is going through a lot more emotions and trying to feed your baby all these different hours and get up. Help feed the baby, get up, pull the baby, burp the baby, give your wife some time to sleep and don't shame her. That's a big thing is don't shame your partner. Don't shame your girlfriend, wife because she went through something amazing for nine months. And that's all I have to say is just take care of your partner. Seek mental health services if you need to. 

DeeDee James That is great advice, especially that emphasis of your partner being there, being present throughout the whole pregnancy, you know, going to prenatal visit, taking classes, learning more about the pregnancy, what's going on with the woman's body. It's changing every day. And to see that it's a beautiful transformation. And that is so awesome. I love that your husband was there every step of the way and always encouraged you and always supported you in whatever you needed, and that is so awesome to hear. And also just, you know, it took two people to make a baby. So at the end, the both of you to be there, supporting each other, you know, uplifting each other and really getting to know each other. I feel like during this vulnerable time, there's so much that's shared, all the roller coaster of emotions that's happening. And I think that's when you really get to know your partner. And so that's such a beautiful thing to hear that your husband was very part of the way I'm so happy for you Koltey. Honestly, it's amazing to hear your story and also to hear how much you've endured and also overcome. And you're still have this very positive mindset and you're so happy all the time. 

 Koltey Tso Yeah, my husband's a really big part of my daughter's life. Like he would just not have it any other way. He will take a day off from work to go with me to her, immunization update. So he'll hold her while she gets her shots and she'll cry. And I'm like, oh my gosh. So he'll you he'll take the he'll. Take being the meanie for a while. 

DeeDee James  Oh, she's going to get her shots. The worst part for me is when your baby is crying and you don't know or you can't help them, you can do their best is just really soothing them, telling them you love them and all that really good stuff. Because I do remember with my nephew when he got his shots too, on that poor little thing with his crying, and I was like, just being the auntie on the side. I'm like, oh, I'm just going to cry too. But no, I just, you know, just hold them, see them, kiss them and just really show your love to them. 

Koltey Tso Yeah. They're like, it's always more painful for the parents or the guardians. 

 DeeDee James I know you mentioned that you chose an OB as your provider, but later on you talked about you switched to having a midwife. Was there any discussion about if you wanted to have a doula as well? 

Koltey Tso I did, but, it's it costs a lot of money to have a doula, like, I didn't have that money because I'm a student, and me and my husband were just starting out here in, Lawrence, so we had to get rent together, food, all of that good stuff. So I didn't have the capital to have a doula, but that would have been wonderful if that was offered. 

DeeDee James Yeah, I still play an important role during a woman's pregnancy, and especially for them to form that trust throughout the pregnancy. You know, mom knows that her doula is going to stand up for her if she, you know, is having a hospital birth, that she's going to stand by what the mom said in her birth plan and support her and be an advocate for her and also her baby. So knowing what doulas do and the services they provide is definitely something that I feel like it's getting more popular just because, well, moms know that you know how important they are, especially during such a vulnerable time. 

Koltey Tso Yeah. I was listening to the podcast about how, like the Grinding Stones were helpful, and I really wanted that, aspect of, you know, having my sisters around. My sisters are, you know, to me they're like midwives. Because they would make me laugh. They would check on me when it came to giving, you know, my sisters giving birth to their children. All of my sisters were surrounding them, you know, like, encouraging them, like, let's do this, let's do this. Let's let's switch to this position. Are you comfortable? Do you let's try the bouncy ball. You know, my sisters were a really big voice for when. My sisters were. My other sister was giving birth. You know, they would say to the nurses, you know, we're going to try this position. Let's try the bouncy ball. And the nurses would try to push back and say, no, she doesn't even know she needs to stay in this position. And my sisters would, you know, say she wants to change this. So let's do it. You know, kind of putting that emphasis on this is what the patient wants. This is what the patient needs. I didn't have that. So if I had a doula, maybe I wouldn't have had an epidural. 

DeeDee James  Yeah. And like I mentioned before, your sisters are strong women. So hearing, you know, that little part we spoke about it earlier about your sister saying, like, you know, you take advantage of Western medicine. And honestly, I feel like that's just because she's really looking out for you and wants the best for you and your baby and ensure that you know it's going to be, successful birthing and, you know, just really hoping for the best, which is what sisters are there for to or support. And it's so awesome to hear that you felt that presence. And although they weren't there with you during your delivery, your baby's delivery technology, FaceTime, phone calls, you know they were there for you no matter what it sounds like. 

Koltey Tso My thing was like, I as soon as I gave birth to my daughter. She was on my chest and oh, we started. Duo. It's like this video chat on, Samsung phones. And I called my sisters and, I was like, bar! And guess what? Like my sister I call her Bar. And I was like, yeah. So I and I turned the phone to her and she's like, oh my God. And then we were like, laughing and joking and like, one of the nurses was like, I've never heard this much laughter after someone gives birth. But it was just wonderful having my sisters through technology. It was just I think it was easier. 

DeeDee James  Well, Koltey, thank you for joining us today and taking time out of your day to share your story with us. It's such a beautiful story, and I really enjoyed it, and I hope that our listeners also enjoyed it. And also, you know, take something away from this story, as I'm sure you did when you did hear some of our previous, birth story episodes, because there are a lot of mothers out there that they might feel alone. But I feel like sharing these stories really uplifts their spirits and ensures them that they're not alone. You know, they're not battling like postpartum depression and all these things alone because there are others out there that are experiencing the same thing. So hopefully someone in our audience takes something away from this story. 

 Koltey Tso  Yeah. Thank you for having me on and listening to my story and just being encouraging. And I appreciate you and your sister being there for me when I needed, you know, a listening ears and someone to celebrate with. So I really appreciate it. 

DeeDee James Yeah. So from the bottom of my heart, Shannon Hoggle, thank you Koltey for coming on, joining, sharing your story, being open and vulnerable with all these strangers that may be listening, but honestly, this just unites us and uplifts us and really lets us know that there are a lot of people, especially, you know, Navajo mothers, that may be living on or off the reservation that are dealing with these exact same issues. So hopefully, you know, others are willing to talk to someone about what they may be going through, open up to someone that they trust. Seeking any services that they may need. You know, things like that. So that's really what the goal of the birthing experiences and sharing it. We really want mothers to know they're not alone, you know, and that it's okay to open up to someone that you trust to share your story. It's going to lift a lot of weight off of your shoulders, is going to free up that space in your mind. So thank you again for coming on to our podcast, sharing your story, being vulnerable. I know it can be difficult at times, but your story is such a beautiful one and I'm so happy that you shared it with me and everyone that's going to be listening to this episode. 

 Ahe’hee. Thanks for listening to the Healthy Navajo K’é Podcast. For more information or to provide feedback, visit us on Facebook at Navajo MCH Project at Diné College.

DeeDee James This podcast episode was in partnership with Bloodline Beauty. Please check out this incredible native artist on Instagram. You can find various items from their makeup line, including lashes and palettes to their merch line, including bags and shirts, and you may also find other items you may be interested in purchasing. Please support small native businesses. You can also find their username on our flier for this episode on our social media pages