Pregnancy and Birthing Stories Series Part 2

Yá’áh’tééh! For the second installment of our birthing series, co-hosts Amber-Rose Begay and Lexa Ingram will be interviewing Kiara Tom, a young Diné woman and mother, will be sharing her pregnancy and birthing experiences on this episode. We appreciate Kiara for sharing her beautiful stories with us. The purpose of this series is to provide a space for birthing families to share their experiences to help other birthing families become informed about the ways pregnancy and birthing can happen.

Disclaimer: We’d like to let our audience know that these birthing stories include real people with real stories and may include topics on traumatic pregnancy and birthing experiences leading to loss of life, miscarriage, depression, suicide, and grief. If you are listening, please take breaks as needed. If these topics are too much for you to handle, please join us again for our next episode and take care of yourself in the meantime.

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Facebook: @Navajo Maternal and Child Health Project at Diné College

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Please email us if you have any questions, comments, or suggestions: navajomchproject@dinecollege.edu

This podcast was sponsored by the Arizona Department of Health Services through federal funding from the Health Resources & Services Administration, with support from the Navajo Native American Research Centers for Health (NARCH) Partnership between Diné College and Northern Arizona University through federal funding from the National Institute of Health’s National Institute of General Medical Sciences, award number S06GM142121. The views expressed are the sole responsibility of the program staff and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Arizona Department of Health Services or the United States Government.

Transcript

Introduction
Ya'at'eeh. Welcome to the MCH podcast where we discuss maternal and child health topics and provide strategies for improving the health of Navajo families. Amá dóó áłchíní ats’íís baa áháyá baa yadelti (Translation: We will be talking about the health of mothers and children).

Amber-Rose Begay
I am your cohost Amber-Rose Begay. Hashk’ąąhadzohi nishli, Táchii’nii bashichiin, Tábąąhá dashichei, Naakai Dine’é dashinali. Nataani Nez denashaa. I’m originally from Shiprock, NM where I live and work at Diné College as a project coordinator of the Navajo Maternal and Child Health Projects. I am a Navajo woman and mother of two. 

Stacey Litson
Yá’át'ééh! I am your co-host Stacey Litson. Tódích’íí’nii nishłį. Tábaahá báshischíín.
Áshiihíí dashicheii. Kinyaa'áanii dashinalí. I’m from Tsaile, AZ but I currently live and work at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff, Arizona. I am so happy to be a part of this podcast to better help our native families and listeners.

Lexa Ingram
Hello, I am your new co-host Alexandrea Ingram, but I prefer to go by Lexa. I am born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona, however, I have been residing in Flagstaff for the past few years to attend Northern Arizona University (NAU). I am currently completing my last semester of college and will be graduating with a Bachelor of Science in Health Sciences: Public Health and minors in Biology and Psychology. As part of my last semester, I am excited to serve under NAU Center for Health Equity Research (CHER) and Diné College on their Indigenous Maternal and Children health project as an AmeriCorps member. I look forward to expanding my knowledge on maternal and children's health topics as well as sharing my research and knowledge alongside community members and/or health educators on our podcast.

This episode is a continuation of a new series about pregnancy and birthing experiences. The purpose of these episodes are to provide a space for birthing families to share their stories in the hopes that it will help other birthing families to be informed about ways that pregnancy and birthing occurs. Before we begin, we’d like to let our audience know that these birthing stories include real people with real stories and may include topics on traumatic pregnancy and birthing experiences leading to loss of life, miscarriage, depression, suicide, and grief. If you are listening, please take breaks as needed. If these topics are too much for you to handle, please join us again for our next episode and take care of yourself in the meantime.

Today we are joined by Kiara Tom. Kiara, can you please introduce yourself?

Kiara Tom
Hi. My name is Kiara Tom and I'm a young Navajo mother of a gorgeous little one month year old right now. Shi éí Kiara Tom yinishyé. Naasht’ezhí Dine’é nishłí.
Hashk’aa hadzohí bashichíín. Kinłichíí’nii dashicheii. Ma’ii Deeshgiizhnii dashinalí. I reside in Kirtland and I have lived around the Four Corners all my life. 

Stacey Litson
Thank you for introducing yourself Kiara. Now we are going to move forward and we're going to ask Kiara to share her birthing story with this.  

Kiara Tom
This is my first child and you know, the first child, it's always, everything's a new experience. Well, to start off, how I found out was I was feeling incredibly sick and something just didn't feel right, and I just had a hunch that I was pregnant, took the test, and it was positive. This is fun because it happened during July 4th, so it was more celebration to that. Not to long afterwards about finding out that I was pregnant, I went to the doctor right away because not only did I have a hunch that I was pregnant, I was also not feeling well. So I had great concern that something was happening to me. And after finding out that I was pregnant, I was scared that something was also happening to my child. So I went in right away. They confirmed that I was pregnant, but they also said that I was on the risk of a miscarriage too. So that was quite worrying. And they said that I might be stressing myself out, stressing my body out, and to come back in like two days to see about my blood work and to see if it has doubled or if it had increased, and that I should start looking into talking about the OB-GYN and, like, or a midwife or something of that sort. So, after that one interaction in the emergency room, I was quite worried like, hey, I'm pregnant. I can't stress, I can't put too much stuff on my, my body anymore. And personally, as a young mom, I was also, you know, pretty reckless with myself. So once I found out that I was pregnant, any kind of substance use that I was doing was completely out of question now. And probably the next day I got a hold of the New Mexico Women's Health Center in San Juan County. I was able to look into doctors who I would trust with myself and my future child. My significant other during that time was also working on the hospital, so they knew of the people that were working there. So I kind of got a heads up like, hey, this guy, this guys pretty nice, the other nurse is pretty, pretty quick with everything. If you want to talk to more, like, in depth in your pregnancy, I would suggest this person. And so we found one person in particular and luckily enough they were pregnant as well. My OB-GYN was pregnant, and so we would talk about what we're experiencing together and all that stuff throughout the pregnancy. But, other then that, I got a hold of her, they did a blood work test and my hCG levels were going up and they said that I was starting to have a pretty healthy pregnancy. So, you know, hearing that after saying I might have a miscarriage was a it was beyond good news, I would say. Just as I started talking to my OB-GYN, she put me on prenatal care right away. But I also told her, like, I don't like, you know, the pill form. She goes, if you want, we can do over the counter gummy prenatals. So I was like, Yeah! I’m gonna have some gummies every single day. 

A funny short side story, so, before I got to a, the New Mexico Women's Health Center, I was looking up areas of where I can take my pregnancy test and see if I can confirm that I was pregnant. We went to a mormon community about birthing like birthing center for Mormons or like for religious people I believe. And I was interviewed like crazy asking about what my religion was, if I was married. Do I intend to be married? Am I a living with this person? And there was so many questions that I was bombarded with, and I was like, oh, my goodness, and then like, were you forced on? I was like, oh my gosh, no. But, it made me realize like, hey, I don't know the situation of some other mothers out there. So, it's, it's interesting how different more religious clinics are with than the, you know, the New Mexico Women's Health Center. But it's an interesting little side story. I did not know that religion is also a huge part in some clinics too. As for myself, I am not really religious, as you can see, I am not married just yet, but yeah. Yeah, it was interesting side-story, I really like it. It makes you really have like your eyes open into like, Hey, there are some clinics out there that really take into consideration about all aspects about how you got pregnant and how ready you are for, you know, this new child in your life. I, I thought that was pretty neat and quite interesting as well. 

Going on more further, I was taking over the counter gummy prenatals. I always went to my appointments for my ultrasounds and just for myself as well. As a Native American, you know, diabetes is something very common on the Navajo Nation. So they always made sure that my blood sugar was pretty good. And as for my family, on my mom's side, they say that it's really common for mom's diabetes or like illnesses to be passed down into their children. So my mom was diabetic, she had cancer, so, throughout my pregnancy I was always being checked on for that.  

Amber-Rose Begay
Can you tell us what month or trimester you started prenatal care?

Kiara Tom
Oh, no problem. I started right away, actually, because I'm also a person that goes on TikTok quite a lot. And once I found out that I was pregnant, I literally looked up pregnant women on TikTok. And they say that, like, once you find out, once you're confirmed or approved, start your prenatal right away. Get everything situated with your body, with your mental health. Make sure you're physically ready, mentally ready. So it was like, all right, I'm gonna start on my prenatal care right away. So once I found out about six weeks, I started taking prenatals and it, it is fairly early. That's why they kind of, when I first went to the E.R., that's why they said it was a really early pregnancy to find out like I'm actually pregnant. I was four weeks when I went in and six weeks when I was really confirmed, like, hey, you're having the kid. Everything is looking good and we would suggest that you go on prenatals. So around like five weeks, I would say that I started prenatal care.  

Amber-Rose Begay
Okay, wow. That is pretty early. You caught on really quickly, and that's good. I think that's what we hope that all mothers or birthing people do once they're feeling, you know, those symptoms, they go in to get checked. So I have another question, what about when you found out the gender? How did that go? Did you want to know right away? 

Kiara Tom
I wanted to have like a gender reveal for myself and, you know, for my significant other. I'm like, hey, this is going to be a special moment and we're going to be you know, we're going to be parents. And I want to know the the gender of my child so I can start buying clothes and the decorations. But in all honesty, we wanted to keep it a secret until I was around six months. But that didn't really work out considering our situation of our living arrangements, because we had, we were living with these two people. They were really great people, but they had a very aggressive dog, I should say. This dog would bark at me, it would try to bite me and it was, it was horrible. Every single day they did not get used to me. They did not, you know, try to warm up to me or anything like that. And this dog was really, really aggressive. And it was bad to the point where they kind of kept her in the cage all the time, and I'm not sure, because the one person that or the people that we wanted to tell our gender to was these people that we were living with because they were really involved in our pregnancy as well. They were helping me buy groceries. They were, I would say, like making me feel more comfortable. The only thing that was not comfortable was just the dog. And like I said, we wanted to tell them the gender so that, you know, they can set up the party. But as that situation with the dog, we kind of just thought like, hey, let's just find out ourselves and let not or, let's not let them worry about us anymore. So, right as I went to my, I believe my 16 week ultrasound appointment, we were told like, hey, like, would you like to know the gender of the baby? And I’m like yeah. With that, we tried figuring out the gender of our baby through the ultrasound, but my child was very stubborn and always facing towards my spine. I really remember the experience of them taking the Doppler and really jabbing my stomach to get her moving. And then, like, they would tell me like, hey, can you go to your side, and I'll go to my side. And they're like, can you go to the other side? And then they like, jab me again, and I'm like, oh my goodness! But we didn't find out officially until 18 weeks, two weeks later, of what her gender was, and that was from bloodwork. They were saying, like she, it’s a she and we were like, oh my goodness, yes! Next ultrasound after that, around 20 weeks, we, we got confirmation that she was indeed a girl, and we’re like, yes, I can start buying stuff now. So I started buying clothes, and decor, and I got the bassinet. We kept everything like furniture wise gender neutral until we found out the gender, then we had, like, the bed sheets and like little blankets to finally put in there. But yeah, that was that was how we found out about, you know, how she was a she.

Amber-Rose Begay
Awesome. Did your provider that was doing your, prenatal care provider should I say, did they ask you like regularly about your mental health and like if you were feeling okay mentally?

Kiara Tom
Yes. That was very important because she might have not mentioned it, but I always talked to my provider, everything that I was concerned about. I'm like, hey, I am not feeling quite well, like mentally, I'm not, I'm not, I don't feel like I'm prepared for this. And then I, God bless her, she, she was really incredible. She was always talking to me because, you know, she was pregnant as well. And she's like, she's like, how are you feeling? I'm, like, I'm like, I'm feeling kind of down because there was also recent news that I heard and I wasn’t feeling myself, mentally there. I was like, I don't think is right and I don't think is good for me or good for my child. And she started talking to me more about like counseling or talking with someone that I know or that I feel comfortable with. Towards the end of the pregnancy, I was talking to her constantly over the phone. She was due before me, so she was gone the third trimester of my pregnancy and she came back right as, you know, as I was giving birth like that week. She, she was quite well with talking to me about how my mental health was and talking about what help I can get or around the area. I personally had really bad trouble with my physical body would not be able to do as much hard work as I used to. I could not carry heavy stuff so she suggested a chiropractor. I went to that as well. That's the most major thing that happened in my pregnancy that concerned me was my depression and my physical body and that it was struggling to, to work with because during my third trimester I was now put on to bed rest from the doctors were believing that I was going through and they just said mostly take it easy, and, and that's what I did. 

Stacey Litson
Awesome. I have a question on the prenatal care you encountered or received. Were there any challenges in accessing prenatal care?

Kiara Tom
In accessing prenatal care, no. So when I went to my provider, she would ask me if I would need to get prescribed. If I did, she would send it over to my pharmacy and I would go ahead and pick that up to drive through. But I was using the ones that were over the counter or just at Walmart. There were several options that I could choose from. There was like the gummies, there was the tablets, there was the pills, and I was like, oh, wow, that's different options because, you know, personally I'm not much of a pill taker, so I searched into different options, and there were like several gummy prenatal options that I could have picked. And I chose one that I thought was right for me and for my health as well. Overall, it actually worked. Doctor said that my child was healthy, that I was looking healthy. It seemed as if my prenatal care was working, so I kept up with it. Prenatals itself around Walmart was like $15 for like a big jar, and that would last me for like two months or like a month if I was always kept up to date because there was always, you know, there's one day that I'll forget or like the next day I'd be like, oh my goodness, I forgot yesterday. So, but I usually kept up with it. 

Stacey Litson
You mentioned that had to get your prenatals over-the-counter. Did you go to a private or did you go to IHS and did you have insurance? I was under Medicaid beforehand, and as I found out that I was pregnant, I would have to go through my insurance to say that I was indeed pregnant, these are my hCG levels. They really kept up to date with my appointments. As my chart was being updated at the hospital, it would be sent over like two days later to my insurance and I would get an email confirmation saying that hey you had an appointment, you were prescribed this, letting you know that everything is covered because under my Medicaid that I was covered in my dental visits and prescriptions, mostly everything, my vision as well. But as for like the prenatals, the over-the-counter one was the one time when I first went into the E.R. that's when I was prescribed prenatals right then and there. But they also told me that you can take these for now, but just know that you're on the risk of miscarriage in the beginning. So with that, all that covered, that was like the very beginning of my pregnancy. Other than that, I usually got my prenatals through Walmart.  

Amber-Rose
Okay, I know Kiki you also talked about wanting to have a doula. Can you talk about the challenges of trying to have a doula?

Kiara Tom
So as for the doula part, it's kind of hard to get access through San Juan County where I live. As I was going through websites I was trying to find a doula because personally I wanted to know that I can give birth not only at the hospital, but if it just so happens that I am pregnant at home and I'm giving birth right here and then, I would want to have the knowledge and the preparedness that I would be ready to, you know, give birth to my child if there are any complications, if they were to happen, if I was at home or like somewhere else or in the car, at least I would know the risks. I would know the knowledge about what would happen if, you know, if they were turned around, if like they're umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck like that. I was set to have a doula too, you know, just be knowledgeable about these things. But as to where I live, I attempted to look for a doula around my area that can take my insurance. None in the area would be able to do that. So the far, like the closest doula that I could find that could accept my insurance was in Durango, which is pretty, pretty far from where I live. And, you know, I would need to think like, hey, if my doula is out there and I'm pregnant and I'm ready to go and I'm, I'm ready to push this baby out, would she be able to be there for me kind of thing. So as I searched online, I saw other packages and I saw all the things that I would need to pay for for myself if I were to pay for one that's around here. And I'm not going to lie, it is pretty pricey. But you also got to understand that their experience with helping mothers out there, I would not know how to explain, like how much helpful and how useful they could be for other mothers. As for myself, I kind of just learned on the way about throughout my pregnancy like, hey, this is going to happen. I was not really the person to say like what to expect when you're expecting kind of person. I did not read any books, but I mostly knew what I know from growing up around young women and who, you know, had babies around me. So I was like, oh, hey, how you feeling? I'm like, I'm feeling crappy. I'm like, oh, okay. And they would just talking about like, how they're going through their pregnancy. So I had an idea already beforehand how pregnancy was going to go, and I watched a lot of movies too, I, I’m not going to lie. And I kind of also had an idea like, hey, if I give birth in a car I would know that the dispatcher on line are really experienced in, you know, having to go through the process of if I were to give birth, like at home or in the car. And as my significant other, used to work in a hospital setting, they also know how to help out wome how to give birth because they also worked in the fire trucks or he works also in the fire fighting district as well. So I can really rely on my significant other if something were to happen. But, you know, I've always had my doubts, like, hey, he's a guy. He doesn't know how it's like to give birth. So, I always try to prepare myself mentally as well. But, he was also prepared, like, medically, like what if stuff were to happen and how he would be able to help. But as we moved away from that one roommate, that place I was having trouble with the dog. We moved to another home and our other, our other roommates are also firefighters as well as medics. So I was pretty prepared if I were to give birth at home. Like I had literally medical help just in the next room. So I, I don’t know, it it was really complicated with the doula. I only just know that they were crazy and I wanted to have a doula, but I, I just could not handle the packages or the payments that they would be sending. So I had to think of an alternative idea, which was, you know, not have a doula or a midwife, but yeah.

Amber-Rose Begay
Maybe we can move on talking about your birthing experience,

Kiara Tom
No problem.

Amber-Rose Begay
As much as you can remember. 

Kiara Tom
So I was home. I was watching a movie. I started having contractions in the middle of the night. I was ready to go to sleep around 9 p.m.. Contractions started kicking in, but, you know, I was always having contractions throughout that week because my body was preparing to give birth so contractions were just every now and then. But in this one particular night, contractions were a little bit stronger than usual. And I was like, oh, dear. So my fiancee and I, we were like, you know, we'll stay up and we'll try to see how long this will last throughout the night. If it's just, like, if it's just a quick sign that I was getting ready for labor, we would know by then, like okay the contractions were not like 5 minutes apart kind of thing. We're kind of keeping track of the night, too. So we just watch a movie and we noticed that the contractions were getting stronger because my stomach was actually like squeezing and then releasing. And I'm like, oh, like this don't look great. So as well as trying to keep track of it, the pain just got more worse and we're like, you know what, we should probably go in because I, I think we're just about there. So we had a hospital bag ready, we had the carseat ready. We were already prepared beforehand, so we just got our shoes and we got our jackets and we just headed out the door around 2:00 in the morning. So we were over there. We went to the emergency room. We told them like, hey, I'm having contractions. I think I'm going into labor. Personally, my water did not break, so we weren't sure about it beforehand, like, hey, my water broke, I'm going to go into labor. But it was not that case. So once my contractions were getting stronger, we went up to the birthing floor, the maternity ward, and we had to go through a process of making sure that I was going into labor. So it was like a check in room before we get into an actual room. So we went inside the check in room and they saw that I was two centimeters dilated. So I was like, oh, wow. They're like, your contractions are, you know, contracting. So we're going to see if we can get you dilated a little bit more. Because if I started dilating more, that means I am going into labor. So they're like, if you can, we encourage you to be walking. And I was just like alright, but I, I would not know how to describe what I was going through. Besides, you would have to be mentally prepared and physically prepared. I knew that walking a lot would help speed up the labor a little bit. So we walked around the entire floor. We were taking laps around there and probably the third lap, we're like, all right, we're going to see if you dilated any more. So we took like three more labs just in case. And as they checked me, they said I was four centimeters dilated. So they confirmed that I was going into labor. So I had to be admitted in. I had to sign all the papers that I was given. And we were just in the next room from the check in room so I didn't have to walk too far. I was strapped in. They told me about all the things that, that they would offer or anything that I would need. Like I said, I was a person that liked to look on TikTok, and I was specifically on the side of TikTok where it showed like different things that a hospital can offer. So I had a yoga ball in my room. I was told that I can also use this, and it gave me like a little peanut yoga ball, and I had to sleep on my side, and they really offered a lot. But, I was given like a warm blanket and I would have to like, change out my sheets every once in a while because let’s see, 10 hours in, so my labor was 15 hours altogether. 10 hours and I was told that we need to speed it up a little bit, so they suggested to break my water. So I was like, okay, yeah, because I was in pain. I had contractions every 5 minutes. I was really going through it and I was hooked up to all this stuff. And I was my water broke out, or as they broke my water, I it was going through fairly quickly. I was at six centimeters dilated and then I was seven centimeters dilated. Then I was told like, hey, do you want an epidural? And I was like, yeah, because I honestly, I wanted to have like a natural birth, but I was not ready for it. I was going through so much and I'm like, no, you know what, it's okay to change my mind. Like, I think I would want the epidural. So I went ahead, sign off the papers and, you know, they gave me the epidural. And then my experience of the epidural, you know, it was not just like one shot and done. As for me, the way that my spine was angled, the way that I was holding on, the way I was like, I’m, I'm not really sure what happened, but they missed twice. So I had, well, the first time they missed it was too much to the left and I had a needle in my spine, but it was told that it was not the right angle. And they did it again, it was too much to the right this time. And, you know, this is not a good experience for me because, you know, I'm giving birth and I'm having contractions and I'm having a needle put into my spine and being told that, hey, it's not in the right angle again. And the third time they had another person come in, another anesthesiologist come in with all the epidural stuff, and he got it first try. And as soon as the epidural hit, they told me like, all right, you just need to relax. Don't try to move yourself too much and don't try to force yourself. If you're one leg is feeling a little bit heavier than you other, make sure to rotate and make sure that your body is like even out with this because you know, an epidural is something you should not mess around with or anything like that. So I really try to take care of myself. So if I felt it on one leg I would go turn over with my little peanut ball and then I'll be laying on the other side and making sure that it was evenly distributed. But with the epidural, my contractions were feeling a little bit lighter, not completely gone, but a little bit lighter. And probably as soon as probably one hour later, around 5:30, I started feeling like, hey, I gotta push. My doctor was not in because she was helping with another lady in the other room that was also giving birth and I told my nurse like, hey, where is the doctor by any chance. They’re like, oh, she's in the next room. Like, I feel like I got a push now. Probably like 2 minutes later I was like nurse I really do gotta push now, like, I, I cannot hold this anymore. I got to push. But they were fine with it. They were like, all right, go ahead and start pushing if you need to. Just tell us like when you're going to do it because they also told me that, like, once a contraction hits, make sure to push. And so, you know, I did not get in any other angle or positions. I just went straight for legs up in the air, laying on my back. I started pushing, 8 minutes in then that's when they started telling me like, we can see the head. And I'm like, oh my goodness, I'm actually pushing out a child. So 8 minutes in they’re, like we see the head. They’re like, make sure you breathe. Make sure you push whenever you feel the contraction coming. And I'm like, okay, okay, okay. But I'm glad my significant other was there because the first question I asked was “Am I pooping?” And you know, they always say like don’t ask that when you’re giving birth because it’s always yes then. As I asked him he's like, do you want the truth or do you want me to lie? I’m like I’m pooping aren’t I? He’s like yes you are.I was like okay, okay, good to know. But the doctor came in right as I was crowning, and probably 5 minutes later I did one last push and out she came. And it was quite a relief, too, because I was just like, wow, here's the baby. But I'm not going to lie, I kind of dissociated a little bit like, wow, I actually push the baby. They cleaned her up for me, put her on my chest, and I just remember laying there like, holy crap, that that, that’s baby. But I was, I was pretty happy. I'm surprised how quick it was, though. Like, mot even 2 minutes later or like 5 minutes they were doing skin to skin with me and they asked like, do you wanna, you know, start putting her down, get her stuff then? And I was like, yeah. So my significant other, we cut the cord. We didn't do the thing where they say, like dry out the cord first, let all the white blood cells go in. We didn't do that for her. She cut the cord, but she was off. She went to her little baby, little thing, I don't know what they call them. 

Amber-Rose Begay
The heat beds?  

Kiara Tom
Yeah, where they get her measurements, her weight and everything. I was surprised because she came out pretty quiet, so only cried like 30 seconds and she went quiet so all of us got worried, but she was really sleeping. And I’m like, wow, she's, she's pretty quiet. But I remember it as once I gave birth, once they cut the cord, they're like, all right, we're going to we need to, you know, take out the placenta. I'm like, oh, dear. Okay. They're like, don't worry, it's just going to feel like a water bag coming out of, you know, down there. I'm like, oh. And, you know, as they took out my placenta, it it was whole different other experience, I would say. But they told me, like, I don't know if you want to keep your placenta because I know there's some Navajo traditions with that too, to bury it around your home. And, you know, I'm not that kind of person. But they also told me that my placenta ruptured so I would not be able to keep it the way, you know, some people would want to keep it. I always consider like doing a lot of stuff for my pregnancy, but I never really went through with it. I'm just really happy that I had a very healthy baby. She came out 8 pounds, 15 ounces. She was just, she was pretty healthy. She also had an angel's kiss on her head, which is interesting because I did not read about that at all so I was like, oh no. Like, why does she have an arrow on her head? And like, they're like, it's an angel kiss, she's going to have it for like a year. I'm like, oh, okay, that's that's good to know. But she came out, red, she's a little strawberry baby.  And that and that's pretty much about it because right after I gave birth, they really helped me out. They gave me a heating pad. They made sure that I would always change my sheets. Ugh, but the one thing that really, truly hurted after giving birth was the fundal massage. And I'm not sure if anyone knows about that, but it's the thing where they would massage your stomach like crazy to help get your uterus back into place and, you know, shrink it back down. So they would take the palm of their hand or their knuckles and they would really dig into your stomach to make sure you're like, hey, we're pushing out all the blood that was left in there, any of the amniotic fluids. And oh, my goodness, I was like, oh my God, it's like a punch to the stomach, which kind of it is. But, they massage it like crazy and like they, they like I said the uterus is going back into shape. So I was like alright, good to know about this and about everything. Probably like 2 hours later, after giving birth, I started walking around and my nurses were like, you can walk around? I'm like, yeah, epideral wore off, I need to use restroom, I want to take a shower, I feel gross. And they're like, okay, no problem, just let us know if you need any help. So but other than that, that was mostly my birthing story because after getting the fundal massages, after taking a shower, it was just mostly paperwork. And they gave us video to watch about how to take care of our child and how to take care of ourselves, how to take care of our mental health, and if we're experiencing any troubles, make sure to come back or talk to your provider if needed. After that, we had to wait 24 hours so she can get her screening done for her blood, and that was about it. And then we left the next, the next day after the car seat safety test, and we were ready to go. And the next couple of days after that, it was just more of making sure my uterus is going back into shape. So I was having like blood clots coming out of me and it was kind of gross. But what really hit me was postpartum depression. I was really, I was in that category so I talked to my provider about myself and I’m a person that breastfeeds my baby so I wanted to make sure that if I’m gonna be taking antidepressants, it's not going to harm her or her health or my health in any way. So she prescribed some antidepressants for me in moderate doses. So we had that going. And as for my health as myself, I was keeping well to my own health, made sure that I was walking, made sure that whatever was down there I always took care of it because, you know, I had a vaginal birth. I did rip, I did had two stitches put down there. So I had to make sure that was clean all the time. I had to make sure like I was also taking care of myself, my stomach, because my stomach was still I wouldn’t say like still bleeding, but it was still bleeding and it was like that for the next four weeks and that's when everything started going back to normal for myself. I was already having my menstrual cycle back in check and everything. But yeah, as for my child, she was exclusively breastfed. She hated bottles, so we couldn't easily transition her. We tried our best to get our own bottles, but she did not want it. But she was overall a healthy baby. And as for myself, I was healthy as well, from what I was told. Yeah, yeah.  

Stacey Litson
Thank you. That was a very transparent and very, like, deep dive into the birth and I would thank you for sharing your story with us and for our listeners. So my question is like, was there any funny moment that stood out to you specifically, like during birth or after birth? 

Kiara Tom
So what really kind of triggered more of the me dialating to seven centimeters was a dance party with my nurses.  

Stacey Litson
Oh, wow.

Kiara Tom
Yeah, so I was at a steady five centimeters for like a good couple hours and I brought my speaker with me because I heard, like, hey listen to music to keep yourself occupied or like, watch a movie kind of stuff. So I brought my speaker in. I was just messing around playing some music for myself. And I'm like, yeah! And I was bouncing on my ball and as a nurse came in, they heard the music too, and then they started dancing with me, and then my husband or my fiance, they started dancing with me. And so that kind of like got my, my dilation moving. And not so a long afterwards, like 10 minutes after that little dance session, I was told that I was seven centimeters, and that's when I was offered to the epidural. I was like, oh wow, it's happening. But more of the whole entire thing of like being at the hospital, it's just more like, wow, this is really happening, I'm having a kid because, you know, I'm a young mom, so I don't take things too seriously all the time, I would say. So I was like, wow, I'm going to push a human outta me, that's, that's scary, but that's cool. But as for like funny, that was, that the one thing I could think of was a little dance party and I would watch Madea when I was in bed because during that time Madea Boo came out. So I was like, I want to watch it, I want to watch it. But yeah, that that's most of the things because like I said, I'm young, I like to not take things too seriously. So I was pretty, I was pretty much goofing off in the in the room, making sure that I had a good time. But, you know, I was also had to take it seriously when it came to like me feeling pain. So, it had its ups and downs, but most of its ups because I would always joke around with my fiance and be like, hey, hey. They’re like, what? Like can you get me sushi afterwards. And he was like, Okay.  

Stacey Litson
Oh, sushi. 

Kiara Tom
Yeah. So, oh yeah, once I gave birth to, I, I, I had sushi for like two trays and I was like, yes, this is, this is what I wanted. I got home, I had raw eggs because, well, not raw eggs, but at least like a sunny side up egg. And I was just trying all the stuff that I didn't get to eat when I was pregnant.

Amber-Rose Begay
Raw eggs.  

Kiara Tom
Hey, they say that power lifters eat raw eggs because of its calcium.

Amber-Rose Begay
Okay Arnold Schwarzenegger.  

Kiara Tom
But I like sunny side up eggs. So, I was like, yeah, I get to eat the yolk now. 

Amber-Rose Begay
I forgot you have to refrain from eating some certain foods.

Kiara Tom
So I really looked into that, too, like, hey, what what can I eat and what can I not eat? So I, I really looked into it and oh, also during this time, like when I was pregnant, my sister was also pregnant as well. So I really got to talk to her like, I’m this, I’m this big and my baby's moving this much. And she would tell me like, like, yeah, I'm starting to feel kicks too. And like yes, I had someone to relate with. 

Amber-Rose Begay
That's awesome.

Kiara Tom
Yeah, it's overall my birth story and so far she is almost 11 months next week and she's going to, she started walking recently, which was nice. Though it's scary because now she's reaching for like the higher shelves and reaching the counters finally. And it's terrifying because she also likes to open the cabinets. But overall, everything in our house is pretty much baby safe. We have all the locks on the cabinets now and we covered all the outlets. So she's just walking around trying to grab whatever she can get into. But, I don't know, being a mother, you kind of just compare yourself to other mothers, like, hey, is my child, you know, progressing quickly and is she, is she up to date kind of thing. And to going to her appointment as well for like her first month, her second month, third, fourth, six months, nine months, twelve months, going to each one of those you're always comparing like, is she healthy? Is she growing right? It's something I noticed that some mothers do because when I talk to my sister, she would always mention like and I’m not sure if he's growing right, he's looking a little short, like, oh, wow, we really compare our children to growing up a certain way. And, you know, I, I, I found the, I found it interesting as well, like, hey, we shouldn’t be able to compare our children as long as they're healthy and they're happy, we are doing A-OK with our parenting. And as for me, I learned to accept like, hey, she's walking, she's trying to talk. She says, “Mama,” she says “Dada,” she knows how to wave. And I, I noticed that she's, she's growing up and I'm like, wow, that's that's a whole human. and I'm hoping to raise a good daughter kind of thing, a good child. So, it's just more of learning to know what style of parenting you're also going to be doing as well, because she's only one year, almost one year so I'm not sure how I'm going to raise her. Incredible journey. But yeah, the only thing I would suggest or like I would say to mothers is don't worry too much kind of thing, because if you worry too much, you're just going to overthink and overthinking is going to lead to stress. And if you just stress, it's just going to lead to complications with your mentality. And I would say always look for like the good aspects of being pregnant or like raising your child. But I also knew some mothers who had complications as well so it's just more of a mindset of getting ready physically and mentally.

Amber-Rose Begay
Mmm-mm 

Kiara Tom
Yeah.  

 Lexa Ingram
I was wondering if you could share your daughter's name and the story of how you decided to choose her name.

Kiara Tom
Alrighty, I do not mind that one at all. I always had a thought of hey, I want a significant name for my daughter. So, I always thought of like the important people in my life and there were three people in my life who passed away who had really significant meaning to me and my journey in life. So one of which was my mom, who passed away with cancer, my grandma who passed away through a disease, and mine, a good friend of mine from high school who passed away through suicide. And it kind of, it effected me in my life and how I thought about life and what I'm going to do in life kind of thing. Taking care of myself, taking care of my mentality and physical body because hearing that my grandma and my mom have like some complications in their health, I always worry that it was going to pass down to me. So, they made me think about my physical needs of my body. And as my friend who passed away, it made me think like it's important to think about my mental health. So these three people, they, they have meaning in my life. So I took parts of their name and I made a name for my daughter. So from a grandma, her name was Cecilia and my mom, her name was Elycia. So those two were the main ones that made up for my daughter's first name, which was Elycia. It's, it’s spelled differently from, you know, what people usually think. So, I first made up her name, I was just like, I want my mom's name to be a name, which is Elycia, and my grandmother's name in there, Cecilia to be in there, so I came up with Elycia. And as for my friend, how I incorporated her name was in my daughter's middle name, which was Lynn. And my, my daughter has two middle names because she also took my mom's middle name, too. So she has four names, which is Elycia Roselynn Marie Martinez. The Roselynn was also a combination of my grandma, my mom's middle name. I would not know how to come up with it. I would need to, like, draw it out. But…

Amber-Rose Begay
Wow.

Kiara
Like I said, the first name, my grandma, my mom, Elycia. The middle names was a combination of my grandma, my mom and my friend, and, you know, she took her dad's last name, so she, her whole name sounds Mexican now. 

Amber-Rose Begay
It's very long. 

Kiara Tom
It is. So, not too long ago, I was, you know, getting after her for, like, opening up her wipes, dumping out her. She went to the food pantry and she dumped out all the rice on the floor, so I was like Elycia Roselynn Marie Martinez and I was just like, oh my goodness, I never realize how Mexican her name sounds, geez. But we made note like, if our child is, or if our next child in the future, we're going to give them one middle name because that, that is too long. But yeah, that's how we came up with her name. It's a, it’s a combo of people who have this significant part of my life. And for our next child, we plan to incorporate my fiance's family's name in there.  

Lexa Ingram
That’s a beautiful name and I love that you're thinking ahead for the next one, trying to incorporate your other side of the family as well. 

Kiara Tom
Yeah, we, we ike to be prepared here. I also, I, I, I thought of this name before I met him, so I was like, yeah, I'm going to name my daughter this in the future. So when she came out, she was already, already named and prepared. And I…

Lexa Ingram
It's perfect for her. 

Kiara Tom
Yeah, I, I like it, I love it, especially because everyone that meets her are like, how do you say her name? Elycia. They're like, that's beautiful, and then when I show them, like, how to spell it, they're like, that's fancy, and I’m like yeah. But is it any more questions? 

Lexa Ingram
We just have one last question to ask you today. Do you have any advice for new parents?  

Kiara Tom
Really look into your own mental health kind of thing and once you, you know, prepare yourself mentally know that you're going to also help yourself physically through that because your mentality is a really, really powerful thing and making sure that you're okay and your mentalities okay, just know that if those are okay, your physical body is going to feel okay as well. Because for me personally, I had a different mindset all the time. And whenever I thought bad about myself, something like in my health would go bad as well, or just the overthinking and the stress. It really does make a difference to make sure that your own mind is okay, because once, once you start overthinking, just know that it's also going to cause stress in your body as well. And that's the only thing I would suggest, is make sure you're okay mentally and make sure you're mentally prepared as well, and make sure that whatever knowledge you have of your pregnancy, it will not go always the way you want it to. But once you know, and when you're really learning about what can happen, and once you feel like you're prepared mentally there, you're going to do great. I'm just going to say that now because I always thought I would be like one of those moms that would, you know, be always prepared, like I'd have these fancy stuff for her. I would have fancy stuff for myself to make sure, like my whole parenting and everything would be okay. But it's more of make sure you're prepared mentally. Make sure you're mentally okay as well. Because like I said, the mentality, it's super important for yourself and for your child as well.  

Amber-Rose Begay
Yeah, definitely. And I just want to point out, I know it’s the end of the podcast, but Kiara is my cousin in our family and I just want to say that Kiara has been through the worst with me and the best with me, and it's really awesome to now see her transition into a mother and she's always had that maternal instinct. I know me and my mom sometimes referred to her as Mama Kiki because she's very patient, she's very kind, she's very gentle to my children. And I think that, you know, Kiara, you make a great mother. You're going to make a great teacher to her. I mean, I'm sure you're teaching her now. And, you know, I'm just so happy that you're in this really great space. You have a supporting partner, you have a nice home for your family, and you get to spend, you know, your time with your daughter. So, if you haven't heard lately, you know, I think you're doing a really great job. I hope that, you know, once you have another child, I can be more involved, especially in the pregnancy and maybe the birth as well, but I know it was, you know, during COVID, and I was really happy when she came into this world. You know, she looks just like you when you were a baby. And I was, how old are you again, Kiara? You’re like?

Kiara Tom
I am 21, 22 next month. 

Amber-Rose Begay
So I was a young girl. I still remember when Kiara was born and I just remember going to the hospital, seeing her mom and seeing her as a baby. She was the cutest little thing and it's so awesome to be able to see her now have a baby so, you got this, Kiki! 

Kiara Tom
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I also should mention that I work with children too. Or I used to work with children. I worked in a elementary school, so I, I kind of had the heads up and I kind of learned the patience over time. So being a mother, it just kind of rolled with into my parenting now.  

Amber-Rose Begay
Yup, definitely. Thank you Kiki for sharing your story and, or to share it to our audience, so thank you. 

Stacey Litson
Yeah, thank you, Kiara. I think when I was just listening to this, they're going to take one thing away that they learned or one thing that they never knew or experienced, so that would help them during their birth or hopefully guide them in a way, and so thank you for being so transparent with us. I think, I learned a lot as someone who's never gave birth, but as a advocate and a supporter going, going into the future, I learned so much to help our listeners and our native people. So, thank you so much for being so transparent, open and honest. 

 Lexa Ingram
I also wanted to thank you for your time and sharing your story and all the advice that you gave. I really appreciate all the advice that you gave; I thought it was very important and I love how you highlighted mental health and prioritizing it during pregnancy as well as after to make sure you're there as your child's developing within you, and then that you're also able to take care of them after.  

Kiara Tom
Alrighty. I would like to also thank you guys for this interview and made me realize like, hey, I'm doing good so far.  

Amber-Rose Begay
Yes you are. Yes you is.

Outro
Ahe’hee. Thanks for listening to the MCH Podcast. For more information about the Navajo MCH Project, please visit us on Facebook at the Navajo Maternal and Child Health Project at Diné College.